Which Mighty Duck pulled the most butt?

I’m sure everyone has been asking themselves this question. So let’s lay it all out and decide. Which Mighty Ducks player pulled in the most duck-tail?

Adam Banks

The obvious choice. So let’s say your Adam Banks. You’re the greatest thing to happen to youth hockey in Minnesota since Gordon Bombay and Mike Modano. You’ve played your whole career with the Hawks. You rolled around town like a badass with your Hawks bros, fighting off all the little Hawks groupies. Now you’re in District 5 stuck playing with a bunch of scrubs. Now you’re the super star, and a genuinely good-looking dude, so you pretty much have your pick of the litter here.

Charlie Conway

Charlie is like that friend you have that is always talking to the girls and hanging out with them instead of going to the bar with the guys. Very questionable strategy to say the least. On one side he is a pretty damn good hockey player but on the other side he just seems way too mushy and emotional. Did the Minnesota chicks dig all of Charlie’s tears and sensitivity? Or did they see through all of that when he busted out the 1… 2… 3… TRIPLE DEKE!

Fulton Reed

Let’s be real here. There is no way Fulton was the same age as the rest of the team. Dude was like 21 playing on a team with 12 year olds. So while they were home playing Sega, Fulton was smoking butts and hanging out at the local watering hole. That definitely increases his chances. Fulton was also into that hardcore metal music, so I’m sure he could find some freaky grunge metalhead chicks at the bar.

Greg Goldberg

You may laugh at this because he is the fat kid and farts all the time. But you know what his advantage is? The fat kids have lower standards than everyone else. So while Banks and the boys were all rollerblading around town looking for perfect 10’s, Goldberg could easily find himself a nice chubby girl. Boom. It’s as simple as that. One a side note, this is Goldberg now??

Lester Averman

Ahh the funny guy. By the way, no way this kid was good at hockey. Just look at him. He’s like the class clown. However, chicks do dig the funny guys. Plus, while Guy Germaine was out on the ice double-shifting all game long, this scrub was just sitting on the bench cracking jokes and making Guy’s girlfriend Connie Moreau laugh. Sneaky move, but a smart move indeed.

Jesse Hall

This kid was such a hardass it’s not even funny. Just calling Banks a “cake-eater” 24/7. So he definitely had the attitude and swag that chicks like. Plus he is black, so he has that whole thing going for him. He’d probably throw on his Boyz II Men cassette and talk all smooth to the girls in the stands after every game. Hard to beat that.


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